In Western culture, when we read about love, we usually associate it with romantic relationships. Still, another bond seems to have the same—or even more—benefits: friendship. Recent studies show that having good friends keeps us healthy.

“Friendship is our relationship with the most freedom,” says Ana Luisa González, psychologist and Regional Coordinator of the Office of Care for Human Dignity at Tec de Monterrey. “It helps us have better emotional, physical, and mental health.”

Unlike other types of relationships, like the ones we have with family or co-workers, we choose our friends freely. They often become our accomplices, the people we can talk to about what we feel or think without being judged.

When friendships are based on mutual respect, support, and care, people who have them tend to feel more satisfied with their lives and are protected against mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety.

They are also less likely to die from various diseases, thus increasing their life expectancy.

“Humans are social beings; we cannot survive in isolation,” reflects González. “Friendships are a fundamental part of our support system.”

Having a support network is not only essential for a healthy life, it also plays a fundamental role in helping victims of violence get out of a vulnerable situation.

Victims of domestic violence who have the support of their friends and family have a lower risk of experiencing anxiety and depression and fewer symptoms of post-traumatic stress and suicide attempts.

“If you have people who care for you, if you experience a violent situation, it does not mean it will not hurt, but you will have twice as many tools so that its impact in your life is not so deep,” says González.

The Psychological Benefits of Having Friends

Although the social, physical, and mental benefits of having friends have not been studied as much as those of romantic love, there is growing evidence of how much friendships can improve our quality of life.

A recent study that analyzed surveys of around 13,000 people over 50 found that those with quality friendships were 24% less likely to die during the eight years the study lasted.

They also found that they showed a 9% increase in the likelihood of exercising, a 17% reduction in the risk of depression, and a 19% reduction in the probability of suffering a stroke.

“We all love belonging to something, to a football club or an artist’s fan club,” says Gonzalez. “This collective experience of making friends reaffirms our sense of identity.”

This type of relationship not only reduces the risk of suffering from mental disorders, such as depression or anxiety but also helps us see life more calmly.

This became evident in two studies that aimed to assess whether the perception of the steepness of a geographic feature, such as a mountain, could be influenced by different factors, including the presence of a friend.

In one of them, they found that those placed in front of a hill in the company of a friend perceived it as less steep, unlike those who were alone.

One of their most important findings was that the effect of this social support was more significant depending on the quality of the relationship, such as the length, warmth, and closeness of their friendship.

How to Recognize a Good Friend

The positive impact of friendships has a biological basis related to brain connections and how we respond to stress.

In different studies, researchers studying this bond have found that friends have similar patterns of brain activity in regions associated with motivation, reward, and identity.

“Our nervous system is connected to other organs and systems,” says González. “Through it, friendships teach our body to recognize well-being.”

However, they must meet certain characteristics for all the benefits of friendship.

“They have to be based on mutual respect and help,” explains González. “The goal is that this relationship makes you feel respected, heard, valued, taken into account, supported, and free to express yourself.”

They must also be flexible enough so that the changes that come with life do not prevent it from continuing to exist.

“If you decide to be a mother and I decide not to be one if you decide to be a doctor and I a lawyer, we have to find ways so that whatever we decide to be can continue to meet without judgment,” says the psychologist.

In addition, good friends must be present in difficult times as well as easy and fun ones. Just as we share tears, we also must share laughter.

Thus, friendships can be sentimental ties that have the most potent effects on our lives, for better or worse.

Just as positive effects have been found, some studies suggest that they can reinforce risky behaviors, such as smoking or excessive alcohol consumption.

The Impacts of Social Isolation

Although certain friendships may have some disadvantages, when they are healthy, they generally have a positive impact on our lives, largely because they reduce our feelings of loneliness.

In recent years, social isolation has come to be considered a significant risk to human health since it increases our chances of suffering from chronic diseases and dying prematurely.

The dangers associated with it are significant for the elderly, who are more vulnerable to a lack of emotional connection and care.

“Older adults who manage to create friendship bonds live longer than someone who does not have them,” emphasizes González.

Therefore, investing in quality friendships is a safe bet to protect us against the difficulties of adult life.

According to different researchers, the evidence of the profound impact that healthy friendships can have could also inform public health strategies.

“If human bonds are not considered in the public sphere, we will continue to contribute to a system that individualizes and separates us,” says González. “Horizontal, safe, and caring relationships –such as friendships– must permeate all our social systems.”

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